The Simpsons Go to Japan, Part I (i.e. Lea's family is here)
My family arrived on Friday night and we went to Kamakura (the ancient capital of Japan) yesterday. I’m not really as awed by the sights here as I was when I arrived in Japan 7 months ago, but some of my parents’ culture shock is rubbing off on me. Staying with my host family, my real family is encountering obstacles with the smallest nuances of living. My mother panicked when she couldn’t turn off the automatic flaucet (which turns itself off), the doorknobs and light switches take some time to master, and my brother took a picture of the heated toilet seat. Oh yes, and speaking. Being a constant translator is taking its toll on me, but in a somewhat evil way I enjoy being able to censor the conversation. For example, my ever tactful brother will sat something like: “I can’t eat this raw fish because it’s making me sick,” and I will translate it as “This raw fish is delicious, but I’m feeling a little sick from the jet lag so I can’t eat anymore”. Then my father will ask me to tell them the story about “funny” things I said and did when I was a baby, and I reply that it’s too difficult to say in Japanese. Lea laughs demonically to herself…
~me~ at 3:41 PM
My parents are flying in from New York tomorrow to visit me. Yay! They will stay with my host family for a couple nights before traveling elsewhere, so my American family is about to meet my newly adopted Japanese family. I am a bit apprehensive about the culture shock involved. Here is an excerpt from an email I just sent my parents:
List of rules for staying at my house
1)You will eat EVERYTHING that is served to you. My homestay mother will put a lot of effort into your food, and because she is a housewife cooking is her entire livelihood. Not eating what you’re served is not a direct insult to her, but she will probably feel sad.
2)Try not to blow your nose, especially not in public or at the dinner table.
3)When you first arrive my homestay mother will try to coerce Aoi (the 5-year-old I live with) to show off her English to you and to jump through hoops and the like. Aoi, who is very shy at first in front of strangers, will not be impressed and might run away.
4) Next, my mother will show you how our dog chappy can do things like turn around, speak, heel and fetch different objects in the room. You will say: “SUGOI” (su as in suit, go as in go, I as in mi amigo), which means “outstanding” or “really cool”.
5) When you eat here you will say “OISHII” (o as in go, I as in mi amigo), which means “tastes good”.
6) I’m not sure how sociable the father and brother will be. Sometimes Japanese men grunt instead of talking. This is perfectly normal.
7) Try not to use too much hot water and never let water run unnecessarily. Such things are incredibly expensive here.
8) Don’t talk too loudly. Also, don’t raise your voices at each other or yell.
9) After dinner is tea time. This is not optional.
~me~ at 2:45 PM
I’ve taken to watching this ridiculous game show (called “iitomo” for anyone who might know) during my lunch hour. Today’s program was especially peculiar. The 5 guests on the show, apparently visitors from Africa, were dressed in full tribal gear including shields and swords. Before the start of the show the Africans had sampled 8 varieties of authentic Japanese cuisine, and the task of the 7 or so contestants was to guess which food the guests liked the best. Right. I’ve heard that you can understand a lot more about a culture if you can grasp its sense of humor. That said, I am as lost as ever.
But next on the show, the contestants took turns sucking helium and yelling into a microphone. Ok ok, I laughed, I admit it. Perhaps I am turning Japanese.
~me~ at 2:34 AM
Friggin’ earthquakes woke me up at 1 am this morning. I have come to know them in the past few months. Yes, there is nothing quite like having the ground shake on you when you’re feeling unstable enough as it is in an unfamiliar country. I was awake for over an hour afterwards thinking about the way my room shook. It felt like a house of cards almost, like everything could have just collapsed if rubbed the wrong way. The walls here really are paper-thin.
Japan is often touted for its rapid regeneration and growth after severe natural disasters or wars. In fact, a house was recently erected in my neighborhood in about a week’s time. However, you only have to spend one winter here to know that these buildings go up so quickly because they have no insulation. I read once in a course on eastern religion that many Japanese believe everything they build could easily get swept away by the next tsunami or bomb, and therefore integrate a sense of impermanence into their architecture. That sounded fascinating on paper until I felt my house shake.
~me~ at 6:17 AM
ehem...
Ode To Jonathan (a poem)
He fixed up my sight
so it looks this way.
Jonathan rules,
horray!! horray!!
~me~ at 3:06 PM
A redesign! WOW! And with comments too!
~me~ at 11:20 AM
I don’t understand why Pinky and The Brain have to keep making voyages to Japan. Or more specifically, why they have to keep going to Japan on the international cartoon network while I eat breakfast with my Japanese host family. This is such a problem cuz there are no Japanese translations available for the American programming, and the family I’m living with keeps asking me to translate (with my limited Japanese no less) why the two mice have traveled here, and why this country and its people are parodied as such. The first time this happened The Brain dressed up as a Japanese businessman to achieve world domination through the corporate ladder. Ok, it is silly enough for me to explain in Japanese the story of two lab mice in a persistent yet ill-fated quest for global domination, let alone why they had to become Japanese businessmen in order to do so. I said something about Japan’s global image as an economic superpower (though I suppose that’s no longer true). I paused to look up the translation for “pretend” in my dictionary. In retrospect, that seems rather silly because of I’m sure everyone could deduce as much, seeing as The Brain was a mouse in a fucking business suit. The second time, Brain dressed up as an elite sumo wrestler in order to obtain some powerful strengthening potion or something. This episode promised to be considerably more difficult to explain. Luckily for me however, the father of the family recognized Brain’s sumo gear which launched him into another of the lectures on Japanese culture he kindly provides from time to time. I wish I could tell you if he approved of The Brain’s guise or not, but the truth is that I barely understood him. I can understand most of what my host mother says to me in Japanese, but when the father starts educating me on Japanese history or politics, I only smile and nod as if I comprehend. Oh well, it will come with time I suppose.
~me~ at 12:28 AM
